The Latest Installment of the Reconstruction Chronicles

My drive into Philadelphia today served as evidence that I’m still a long way away from my New Year’s Resolution. Here’s an example (singing in italics):

Indescribable, uncontainable, you placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name, you are amaz…

Buddy! This is a freeway, not a country road!!

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden…

Whoa, Lady! Sorry I called you Buddy. What’s with the hair??

And I’ll sing glory, hallelujah, I lift Your name on…

Dude!! Move over!!

Obviously Christian music does not a good Christian make. Although I did get a prime parking spot in the impossible parking garage at the hospital. Luck? Or something else??

The nurse ushered me back to the little room and I changed into my lovely gown while she took down my vitals. Then she left me alone with my book. I was happy. Hey, I’ll take quiet reading without guilt any time I can get it.

After a nice little while the doctor came in. He was not, of course, alone. He introduced me to Dr. Morelli and we shook hands as if we were getting ready to have a business lunch, the difference being I bared my boobage after the hand shake. The tasteless jokes running through my mind right now simply boggle.

The incision revisions look great. Still not perfect, but good enough that I’m happy with them. The nipple, not so much. He told me I had two choices. He could try one more time to build it up or I could just leave it like it is and schedule the tattooing and that the tattooing would probably even things out. So I opted for the tattooing. It was all I could do not to laugh when he said, with a perfectly straight face, that’s what he would do if it were him.

I’m still thinking of something with a Celtic flair. (JUST KIDDING!)

Well, Ladies and Gents. I’m off for a nap. I ran a fever all day yesterday – at one point over 102 – and I’m starting to run a low grade fever now. So I’m going to try to nip it, nip it in the bud!

18 Comments

  1. Monnik on January 9, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    you crack me up. celtic nipplage certainly would be interesting in a wet t-shirt contest!!Hope your fever goes away. Get some sleep! Oh, and running a fever gives you license for all the ‘quiet reading without guilt’ you want!!!

  2. Gretchen on January 9, 2008 at 6:54 pm

    “that’s what he would do if it were him”Boy, wasn’t it nice of him to feel your pain like that? Maybe you could get a saying on your nipples…something like, “you suck”–directions and such. No? In all seriousness, I can only imagine what a drawn out energy drain this is for you, despite your awesome attitude and sense of humor. I hope the fevah breaks soon. I swear, my hair follicles ache when I have a fever, so I’m sympathizing with you to the max. xxxooogretchenP.S. I was thinking (Devo): Nip it–Nip it good!

  3. His Girl on January 9, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    laughter does the heart like good medicine! great post!

  4. KT on January 9, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    Celtic boobies, that is just great! I’m kind of partial to Irish Setters, wonder if they’d tattoo some puppies on my new puppies? Assuming I decide to go ahead with the reconstruction, am on the fence. It’s a long story…..I enjoyed your post and hope you are feeling better. A good nap works wonders, doesn’t it? Katie

  5. Eileen on January 10, 2008 at 12:46 am

    Feel better Jen. It has been a long road, and I am glad you opted for the tattoo. I am sure it was comforting to know the male doctor would have done the same, lol.Take it easy the next few days, get rid of that fever! Rest and read!XOXO

  6. SeaSpray on January 10, 2008 at 1:31 am

    You are very funny…LOL!! I feel better about my most recent post now knowing that you would probably see the humor in it. As a Christian I feel guilty that I sometimes walk the edge a little to closely with some posts. It’s just my zany humor-says me. :)I know sometimes if I ever said the funny stuff I was thinking…oh BOY! I am glad your appointment went well and want you to know that I very much admire your spirit!Boobage…LOL!I hope you feel better soon. 🙂

  7. CindyS on January 10, 2008 at 5:13 am

    So yelling at people while driving is not a good thing? I thought it was supposed to relieve anxiety ;)Nothing like being in those teaching hospitals. Ugh.Feel better! I hate being sick but then I don’t know anyone who thinks ‘ohhh, fever, yeah baby!’CindyS

  8. Katybug on January 10, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    “Indescribable, uncontainable, you placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name, you are amaz…Buddy! This is a freeway, not a country road!!Who has told every lightning bolt where it should goOr seen heavenly storehouses laden…Whoa, Lady! Sorry I called you Buddy. What’s with the hair??And I’ll sing glory, hallelujah, I lift Your name on…Dude!! Move over!!”***********************************Wait…you were sitting in my back seat? Aren’t you going to share some of those tasteless jokes that were running thru your mind??? 🙂

  9. Lynilu on January 10, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    At least you didn’t utter some of the, uhm, interesting commentary that I’ve been known to offer to fellow drivers between the words of glory!!And I think about your responses to the many medical challenges you face, thinking what a miracle it is that we can reach the place you have, where we live through situations that could be embarrassing but cease to be important in the big picture, and where we learn to find humor in the most bizarre situations! Your resiliency and strength amazes me!!Get better, dear Jen. Yes, nip, nip, nip!!!

  10. Jenster on January 10, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    Monnik – I’ll be sure to sign up for a wet t-shirt contest as soon as I’m all done. NOT! :o)Gretchen – Thank you for getting that song stuck in my head. No, really. Thank you. (grrrrr)His Girl – My heart should be really good, then!KT – Puppies on your puppies! Brilliant!!Eileen – I’m trying to rest. Not doing a great job of it, though. :o(Seaspray – I read that post and the laughter was NOT good for my head congestion! LOL That was some funny stuff!Cindy – You may be right about the yelling thing…Katybug – I would like to keep this a fairly family friendly blog, you naughty girl!Lynilu – It is amazing what we can do these days, isn’t it?? And thanks for the lovely compliment. :o)

  11. Shauna on January 10, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    It was all I could do not to laugh when he said, with a perfectly straight face, that’s what he would do if it were him.BWAHAHAHAHA! I’m glad you managed the straight face.After a nice little while the doctor came in. He was not, of course, alone. He introduced me to Dr. Morelli and we shook hands as if we were getting ready to have a business lunch, the difference being I bared my boobage after the hand shake. The tasteless jokes running through my mind right now simply boggle.Oh, I would have been so tempted to say, “Nice to meet you. I don’t take my top off for just anybody. It usually takes a few drinks.”I hope you start feeling better soon. Kick that bug in the butt.

  12. The Daily "B" on January 10, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    You sound so much calmer than I on the road. I turn into a completely different person.Celtic nipple… Sounds tribal. hahahaha!I hope that fever is gone by now, considering I am late to comment. =)

  13. Jenster on January 10, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    Oh, I would have been so tempted to say, “Nice to meet you. I don’t take my top off for just anybody. It usually takes a few drinks.”That’s the problem, Shauna. Since going through reconstruction I feel like I DO take my top off for just anyone slightly resembling a doctor. And I don’t need a drink!Deb – Did you ever see the Goofy cartoon of how he changes into something akin to a demon when he’s driving? Yeah. That’s me. lol

  14. beans on January 10, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    Oh my goodness . . .I do the same thing when I am traveling to work in the morning with my music, except I have to say, the words that come out of my mouth are a tad bit more vulgar . .but I drive around the city all day and the people that drive around in this city can be scary behind a wheel.Hope you’re feeling better soon!

  15. Mama P on January 11, 2008 at 2:18 am

    I think you need to get a super tight shirt, wear no bra, and post a sign on front “I had breast cancer… what’s your excuse?”

  16. Mama P on January 11, 2008 at 2:19 am

    PS: You rock. I am in awe of your courage. It is such the way to live life. In dealing with my own family crisis right now, it’s nice to know that it doesn’t have to be a “crisis” but simply a roadblock. What is a roadblock, anyway, but a place to turn around and start over?Go girl!

  17. Lisa on January 11, 2008 at 9:43 am

    What? No skull? I thought skulls were the must have tattoo? ;o)

  18. Jen on January 15, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    Jen, I hope you are feeling better now. Hugs to you!I sort of like the celtic tattoo idea. ;0)

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