Guilty/Not Guilty

I’ve seen this on a couple other blogs. If those bloggers are brave enough to confess, then I suppose I am, too.

Guilty Or Not Guilty…This is the question

1. Dated outside your race?
GUILTY (Highschool dances count, right?)

2. Singing in the shower?
GUILTY (and I sound surprisingly like Anna Nalick)

3. Spit in someone’s drink?
NOT GUILTY (I don’t think so, anyway).

4. Played with Barbies?
GUILTY (No comments from you, Terri. I’m sure your old Barbies wouldn’t have been worth much, even if I hadn’t given them shags and pierced their ears!)

5. Made someone cry?
DAILY — I mean GUILTY (Favorite quote to use on my children – “Squirt some tears, punk!)

6. Opened your Christmas presents early?
NOT GUILTY (I don’t remember doing that anyway).

7. Lied to a friend?
GUILTY (“No! Those jeans don’t make your butt look big.”).

8. Watched and cried while watching a soap opera?
NOT GUILTY (I’m the Ice Queen. Of course not!)

9. Played a computer game for more than 5 hours?
NOT GUILTY (Probably 4 hours and 55 minutes or so, though.)

10. Ran through the sprinklers naked?
NOT GUILTY (What a horrible image!).

11. Ate food that fell on the floor?
GUILTY (of course!).

12. Went outside naked?
NOT GUILTY (Back to that horrible image thing).

13. Been on stage?
GUILTY

14. Been on stage naked or close to it?
NOT GUILTY (BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, right!!).

15. Been in a parade?
GUILTY

16. Been in a school play?
GUILTY (My line – “Wow! It’s so clean in here you could perform an appendectomy!” It was a stellar performance).

17. Drank beer?
GUILTY

18. Gotten detention?
NOT GUILTY.

19. Been on a plane?
GUILTY (Lots!)

20. Been on a cruise?
NOT GUILTY (I hope to rectify this someday).

21. Broken into a house?
GUILTY (My own when my dad accidently threw the keys into the juniper bushes at night. He was throwing a snail and the keys went with it).

22. Gotten a tattoo?
NOT GUILTY

23. Gotten piercings?
GUILTY

24. Gotten into a fist fight?
NOT GUILTY (Though I did get into a verbal altercation with a drunken chick at an Eagles concert. Could have gone to fist-a-cuffs. Probably would have been bad for me as I’m a lover, not a fighter.).

25. Gotten into a shouting match?
GUILTY (see #24)

26. Swallowed sea/pool water?
GUILTY (Are you kidding? I grew up at the beach. I’ve probably swallowed enough ocean water for my own little sea.)

27. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?
GUILTY (Now I just tilt my head a certain way for self-induced vertigo. What a blast!)

28. Laughed so hard it hurt?
GUILTY (Especially while 9 months pregnant).

29. Tripped on your own feet?
GUILTY (Only once that I remember).

30. Cried yourself to sleep?
GUILTY

31. Cried in public?
GUILTY (HATE being vulnerable!)

32. Thrown up in public?
NOT GUILTY

33. Lied to your parents?
GUILTY (unless Mom or Dad are reading this. Then no. Never.)

34. Skipped class?
GUILTY

35. Cried so hard you threw up?
NOT GUILTY

13 Comments

  1. Devonna on October 15, 2006 at 10:57 am

    I’m trying hard to imagine the shouting match at the Eagles concert ~ I just can’t see it.And laughing so hard it hurt while being 9-months pregnant?! Ow! You deserve some sort of medal for that one.

  2. The Book Girl, A.K.A. Jodi on October 15, 2006 at 2:10 pm

    Great stage line! LOL I would have totally flubbed up “appendectomy”! I can’t even say that without an audience! If it has more than 2 syllables, i’m screwed. 🙂

  3. Jenster on October 15, 2006 at 4:39 pm

    Devonna – the shouting match was really something when you consider I am anything BUT a confrontationalist. And as for laughing hard while being 9 months pregnant, that would be the fault of my husband and parents. We were playing cards and they were making me laugh so hard it hurt. I think I had the baby the next day!Jodi – I was a freshman in highschool. They never asked me to be in another play. I think they felt threatened by my greatness.Jen

  4. Anne Rainey on October 15, 2006 at 7:12 pm

    I love reading your blog, it always has me laughing!hope you don’t mind, but I’m gonna put this in my blog too, I think.

  5. Jenster on October 15, 2006 at 10:11 pm

    Don’t mind in the least! I’ll be over there to see what you’re guilty of.Jen

  6. Tara Marie on October 16, 2006 at 11:06 am

    Squirt some tears, punk! — OMG, I need to remember this one, so much better than mom’s “Do you want something to cry about?”I’ll be stealing this one too.

  7. The Book Girl, A.K.A. Jodi on October 16, 2006 at 9:53 pm

    Wow, you have majorly helped me up my ab workouts! I have went from zero to however many times I laugh when I read your blog and comments! You’re a hoot, I tell ya!

  8. Jenster on October 17, 2006 at 8:13 am

    Tara – There’s nothing worse than trying to make your child feel contrite and they’re totally oblivious to the fact they should be in tears! Of course, that line doesn’t usually have the desired effect…Jodi – Hey! Whatever I can do to help. But you have seriously put the pressure on me! I’m probably at a peak right now and it’s all down hill from here.Jen

  9. Anonymous on October 17, 2006 at 8:48 am

    I am afraid dear that I disagree with your answer to #12 and think it had to do with #18…..all I have to say is Palm Springs & Pass-out[the board game] & swimming pool!!! I do beleive there are witnesses if I have to call upon them to exercise their respective memory.I know I sure remember :-)Todd (aka – DH)

  10. Jenster on October 17, 2006 at 8:52 am

    TODD!! My MOTHER reads this blog!!!Oh, you are sooooo in trouble now!!!

  11. Holly on October 18, 2006 at 2:45 am

    LOL! Your answers were great. And uh, what’s this about PS, a swimming pool and a board game? We might like to read about that. J/K

  12. Jenster on October 18, 2006 at 8:47 am

    Holly – I think my husband is delusional. I think HE’S the one who had a little too much #17 and made up this whole scenario in a moment of drunken fantasy.But, let’s just say for argument’s sake that it really did happen. It would have been 20+ years ago. I was MUCH younger and thinner and it probably wouldn’t have been quite so scary to see. lol

  13. Kris on October 19, 2006 at 4:49 pm

    LOL! I love reading your blog, Jenster, you are hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.

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