Gilligan and a Fly

Todd just informed me he ordered The Essential — John Denver. All I said was that I would never in a million years use the words “essential” and “John Denver” in the same sentence. He was greatly offended and couldn’t believe I would talk about the deceased in that way.

Me – You mean the pot smoker?

Todd – I can’t believe you just said that. You cut me to the bone.

Me – I didn’t insult you. I just don’t like John Denver. You don’t have to take it personally.

Todd – I would never say something like that about someone you love. And do you know why?

Me – Yeah, yeah. Because your love is the island the overflows the ocean. I know.

Todd – Obviously you don’t love me like I love you.

Me – Obviously.

So then he said he was going to start a blog and tell everyone the mean things I say and I told him not to bother because I was going to blog about it before he had a chance to put his spin on it.

As I started to write this post I asked him what the name of the CD was.

Me – Was it “The Essential – Bob Denver”?

Todd – Um, no. It was “The Essential — John Denver”, not Bob Denver.

To which I started laughing so hard thinking about Gilligan singing “Take me home, country roads…”

***

When he came up from the basement he walked through the living room and into the dining room turning off the lights. I was sitting in my green chair, playing on the computer when all of a sudden a noisy fly started buzzing me.

Me – That stupid fly is back! Did you turn off the lights in the dining room?

Todd – Yes. Pause. Looks at me as if I’m growing two heads. Did you have the dining room lights on for a reason? Which was a silly question because he knew the answer.

Me – Yes. When I came back in here the fly was annoying me. So I turned on the light in the dining room, came back in here and turned off the light. I sat in the dark until I saw the fly in the dining room. Then I turned this light back on.

Todd – Oh my gosh. I’m going to start keeping a notebook of all the crazy things you do. Then I’m going to start writing it all down in a blog for all your friends to see.

Not if I get to it first, buddy boy!

18 Comments

  1. Angry Woman on July 26, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    Essential John Denver, LOL!!! Funniest thing I heard ever!!!!!

  2. Swishy on July 26, 2007 at 11:08 pm

    I agree: There is NOTHING essential about John Denver. OR Bob Denver. LOL.

  3. Pokey Puppy on July 27, 2007 at 12:08 am

    Oh god.. you kill me… The fly thing is the most GENIUS thing i have ever heared!!And.. If you cant beat em join em!!

  4. Rosie on July 27, 2007 at 12:27 am

    Gilligan’s not essential? Bite your tongue! Annie’s Song? Not essential? Surely you jest. I can see Todd and I must tolerate the Philistines without the wisdom to appreciate the classics. ;)Of course, I may have to rethink that because I don’t think I’ve ever met (or read) anyone who tried to out maneuver a house fly before.

  5. Dorky Dad on July 27, 2007 at 12:48 am

    C’mon, now. Leave John Denver alone. So what he smoked pot and had an unnatural relationship with a muppet? No, wait. His music actually does drive me nuts. Never mind. Carry on.But I’d LOVE to read Todd’s blog. I, for one, want to encourage that type of behavior.

  6. Mailyn on July 27, 2007 at 2:07 am

    Yay for the hubby! Dish the dirt!!! I’m so evil. LOL. :-PEr, who exactly is John Denver? He sounds like a football player.Did I get ir right??? Do I win a prize????

  7. Stacy~ on July 27, 2007 at 7:13 am

    LOL Mailyn. You’re priceless. Jen, I’m right there with ya on the JD thing. Poor Todd, if he didn’t have you, what would he blog about? And I love how you beat hin to the punch – atta girl *g*

  8. Monnik on July 27, 2007 at 9:51 am

    Oh my gosh, you crack me up! I would totally do the same thing with the dining room light and the fly. John Denver isn’t really “essential”, but sometimes he’s okay to listen to. I actually have ‘Country Roads’ on my iPod.

  9. Em on July 27, 2007 at 11:07 am

    LOL…I love that you are outing yourself! That takes balls…ah, courage. As for John and Bob…I’ll admit to having listened to one and watched the other.

  10. Gretchen on July 27, 2007 at 11:39 am

    Too funny! Alas, I have to admit, being from CO (at least most of my life), I have been known to roll the windows down, while driving through the mountains, and belting out “Rocky Mtn High” for all I was worth. Yep. I, apparently, am outing myself, too. :O)

  11. D.O.M. Dan on July 27, 2007 at 11:57 am

    Don’t do the man like that. John Denver’s music is not that bad. I look forward to reading Todd’s blog.

  12. Jodi_Lee on July 27, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    John Denver’s dead??? Ha! FYI – I would totally read Todd’s blog. *evil grin*

  13. radioactive girl on July 27, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    That fly thing is pure genius! You are a very wise woman!I think it would be cool if your husband started a blog. Although it doesn’t seem like he needs to since you tell us all the crazy stuff anyway! I always out myself on the crazy stuff too.

  14. Colorado Writer on July 27, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    Myabe the pot smoking is the reason for the unnatural relationship with a Muppet? I love John Denver. Of course, I’m from Colorado, so I’m always Rocky Mountain High.Too funny, Jenster.Husbands everywhere must have PMS this week.

  15. Mailyn on July 27, 2007 at 4:16 pm

    LOL Stacy. I’m glad somebody thinks I am *sniff*I’m still waiting to hear on this Denver dude. What the hell does he do?!?!

  16. cry it out! on July 27, 2007 at 4:56 pm

    I once wrote a story for a newspaper about a family that modeled themselves on the Denvers. The guy had Denver’s hair cut and glasses. I asked if he would start taking flying lessons, and he got pretty angry. Great post.Mike

  17. Jenster on July 27, 2007 at 5:18 pm

    Aim – I know! I mean, I don’t totally hate John Denver. I just don’t see him as being essential!Swishy – Thank you!Pokey Puppy – I have my moments of brilliance.Rosie – I’ll let you know what Todd thinks about the CD after he’s had a chance to listen to it and critique it. :o)Dorky Dad – That’s just not nice. He doesn’t need any encouragement!Mailyn – You’re as bad as Dorky Dad!! And you’re cracking me up!! John Denver was a singer so you don’t win the prize. Sorry. Participants must wait 30 days before trying to win again.Stacy – I may be crazy, but I’m not stupid!! He doesn’t have anything to blog about because I get to it first.Monnik – He’s not so bad, but he’s not anywhere near my list of favorites.Em – I can’t help myself. Every time I do something stupid I think I’m going to keep it to myself. As soon as Todd walks in the door I blurt out what I did. I don’t think balls or courage have anything to do with it!Gretchen – We were in the Rockies a few years ago and he made us listen to “Rocky Mountain High” over and over…Dan – I agree. His stuff’s not so bad. Again it’s more of an issue with the word “Essential”. :o)Jodi – Don’t hold your breath waiting for his blog. If all he did was write about me it would fizzle out in a day or two.Radioactive Girl – My hope is that he will decide a blog wouldn’t be worth it because I tell all anyway. *please, please, please*Colorado Writer – I think you’re right about the connection between smoking and the muppets. It all makes sense now.Mailyn – I think you’re priceless, too!! LOLMike – Thanks for visiting. So did this family live in Colorado??

  18. WhyMommy on July 28, 2007 at 9:30 am

    Bob Denver! Now *I*’ve got that image of him singing too! 🙂

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